Embracing My Authentic Self

Growing up, I was known for being outgoing and loud—a force whose presence was unmistakable. While that energy serves me well as an adult, it also made me a target for bullying during childhood. I wasn’t blind to how others looked at me; I simply chose to embrace who I was. You could call it a profound awakening, but in truth, I just didn’t know how to be anyone else. I never felt right keeping quiet or blending in. Looking back, I sensed that many wished I would. I longed to feel seen and accepted, even as my vibrant personality overwhelmed some.

I often chuckle at how, as an adult, I am no different from my teenage self. I would still rather ask for forgiveness than permission. My teenage years were filled with forcing myself into groups on teams or at school, waiting for the day I would be invited to a party or asked to sit at a lunch table. I attended three high schools in four years, gathering a handful of close friends along the way—women who recognized my outgoing spirit but also sought to uncover the depth beneath it. With each new school, I became more resilient to the pressures of making friends while staying true to myself. Every time I tried to be someone else, it failed miserably.

It has been over 15 years since I graduated high school. Yet, I’ve clung to a preconceived notion that my classmates were right: I was deserving of being bullied, and that being outgoing, bold, and “asking for forgiveness” was immature.

Recently, a dear friend, Lisa Swanson, joined me on my podcast. As we reminisced about our childhood, I was transported back to some of the worst bullying I experienced. Lisa shared something that has since provided me with peace. She told me she was always impressed by my authenticity back then. She still admires how I have always stayed true to myself. After 20 years, she wasn’t focused on how loud or obnoxious I was; instead, she recognized the very characteristics I deemed weaknesses as my strengths. Through Lisa, God is reminding me of how beautifully and wonderfully made I was—and still am.

This clarity and truth have set me free in ways I can’t fully express. My light—while at times brighter and a bit erratic—has always been needed. My boldness, often misunderstood, has earned respect. Lisa’s words lifted years of self-doubt, reminding me that my authenticity is enough simply because it is mine.

I have never been anything but myself. I just don’t know how to be anyone else. Embracing that truth is where my power lies, and it’s a light I’ll never extinguish.

Don’t be anything but your most authentic self; people need your light!!